The painful distress a woman goes through when her partner can't manage an erection during sexual intercourse is immense. She may not speak it out, but deep within, she suffers emotionally. For most women, their sex life turns into a nightmare, and each day, they miss their partner's old wild and romantic self.
In most cases, the question is, where did things go wrong? They begin tracking time and trying to recall the first time they noticed these signs, associating them with certain events.
While the best way to handle the situation would be discussing it, most people are never comfortable taking that path. Instead, the blame-game begins, and of course, the man is always on the receiving end.
Most women don't perceive it as a health condition. If anything, they imagine all sorts of things that could have led to the guy's low sex drive. For most, it's either a failure on their part or the man has lost interest in them. Such thoughts not only lead to anxiety but also create a huge gap in the relationship.
But is it the man's fault or it's an early sign of a health condition that's treatable?
Let's find out.
What's Erectile Dysfunction?
While most men and women view Erectile Dysfunction as a sexual issue, it's a health condition that results from several issues. Medically, Erectile Dysfunction is termed as the inability to manage or sustain an erection for a reasonable time during sexual intercourse. Men suffering from this condition will try to avoid sex by giving so many excuses to their partners.
Nevertheless, it's worth noting that literally, all men experience erection failure at some point in their lives. It could be as a result of depression, stress, or it just happens with no apparent reason. While for some, it subsides with time, for others, it becomes worse, and at this point, a diagnosis for Erectile Dysfunction would be necessary.
According to health experts, the most common causes of Erectile Dysfunction are physical conditions such as diabetes, high levels of cholesterol, or early signs of heart disease, all of which may not have been diagnosed. Additionally, it could be caused by the side effects of certain drugs used to treat these conditions.
Regardless of the cause, Erectile Dysfunction can damage relationships, and women are the ones most affected by it.
How Erectile Dysfunction Affects Women
Due to lack of education about the causes of this condition, a majority of women begins blaming themselves for it. Even worse, they tend to feel angry or sometimes hurt when the problem occurs. For one, she may begin to suspect that her man is having an affair or, maybe, he doesn't find her desirable anymore. Since women tend to internalise issues, they end up in self-blame, imagining they did something wrong that might have pushed the guy away.
The problem is that most women don't want to talk about it. Instead, they keep making guesses about what they think they might have done wrong, which, in most cases, could be misinterpreted by the man.
A man experiencing erection failure will perceive the woman's hurtful attitude as an attack on him and pull back. To the woman, the pulling back only confirms she has indeed done something wrong, and since she's haunted by it, she retreats even further. So, in the end, nobody wants to talk about it, but it's slowly damaging their relationship.
How to Deal with Erectile Dysfunction
Retreating is never the best way to handle things. It's better to face it and get a solution. But even then, trying harder wouldn't do the magic. For instance, some women would try to drown their partner in eroticism, imagining things will get back to normal if they keep trying harder. Unfortunately, that's not true. If anything, it only worsens the condition.
Getting some sexy clothes or trying out some crazy love-making tricks will only put more pressure on him. It's worth noting that the issue isn't linked to being turned on. So, the harder you try, the worse it gets for the man, and on your part, you feel disappointed if it doesn't work.
Now, what should you do if your mate can't perform? First of all, don't pretend that it doesn't matter to you; neither should you try to brush off what's going on. You'll only bleed from within, and when it finally explodes, you'll be on your way out.
Also, keep in mind that you aren't the cause of the problem. Don't feel rejected or personalise the matter, as it will derail you emotionally. Once you're here, acknowledge the problem exists and open a platform to discuss it. And don't talk about it in the bedroom right after it happens - give it a few more days or even a week.
Don't introduce the topic as if your relationship with him depends on it, but more as a solvable health problem. As long as you put it in the context of a physical condition and not a sexual one, you'll be surprised by how much the man would be open to discussing it.
Be Part of The Treatment Journey
Even though some men may want to go through the treatment process alone, depending on how you handle the matter, your spouse may be willing to let you be part of it. Remember it's affecting both of you, and, therefore, you need to walk together until things get back to normal. Offer to accompany him for treatment and give him the support he needs. However, if he prefers going it alone, don't push him. Let him decide what he thinks best, but always be there to support him where necessary.
We all know how much an encouragement boosts out morale to do something. Because you understand that the walk might take some time, always encourage him to continue on the recovery path to avoid falling back and losing on the gains. Also, ensure you appreciate every stride made towards full recovery.